Snow-vember; The Story of a Snow Optimist

Dear Readers,

For those of you that aren't snapchat friends with me, or didn't hang out with me in the beginning of the year, it may come as a surprise that I REALLY LOVE SNOW. This is just a somewhat simple post to explain to you why it is that I love snow, and maybe give you a little more perspective on it for yourself!


I have always enjoyed snow, but after we moved away from Washington state when I was six, we didn't really have white Christmases. It would be rainy, stormy, cold but not cold enough, or even sunny one year--but there wasn't really ever snow. You could tack that down as one of the big reasons that I love snow, and it is. Having snow around the holidays helps me think of when I had a very simple life, being very small, and of those times when I was warm with my family.

I also love it because it reminds me of my first semester of college here at BYU-Idaho. When I arrived on January 4th, 2013 it was snowing and white and I was so excited! What an adventure, braving the winter chill to go to class early in the morning on the far end of campus! I loved my first semester at college so very much, and that is another reason.

The third and final reason is the important one. One evening during that fantastic winter semester I walked across campus and worked out. Upon leaving the gym I found that it was snowing quite a bit. As I walked I marveled at the beauty of a quiet world, covered in tiny little white crystals. At the time I lived in apartments up the hill from the rest of the school and I had to walk by the dorms. I took some time to simply sit on the handrail by one of the buildings and watch it snow. This was something that I'd never really done before, and I was enchanted. The way the snow fell, the patterns it made as the wind blew, and then the way it fell so gently on my glove. I held out my hand and waited until I had accrued some of these tiny flakes and then decided to examine them closely. They were so perfect and beautiful, and as I confirmed in that moment, each one was unique.

Every snowflake that falls is different and important. One snowflake can't accomplish much on its own, but when it is with others--so many others--it can shine and make the world a brighter place in the darkest time of the year.

Now you know why Doug Knuth likes the snow so much.

Is it only because of that though?


No, not really.


The snow also reminds me of how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He created this world, and all of us in it, and we are each like a snowflake. We come in our season, and alone we might not make the biggest difference, but together we can brighten the world in its darkest hour. Together we can make something amazing happen, and we can see that there is something special in each of us--that's why.

-Doug Knuth

October

Dear Readers,

It has been almost a month since last I posted, and things have been rather interesting. I've been at school and I've been loving it so much. I've had ups and downs, and I've been all around. I've seen the Hand of God in my life, and I've seen how sometimes we just don't do the right thing.

Even with the hard things though, the negative and sad times that we have, I know that my savior is there. I know that he loves me and that he is always there for me. Feeling sad is okay, it happens from time to time, and that's okay--as long sad isn't all we feel.

I'm hopeful for my future, and for the futures of those around me. Some days I don't feel like I deserve all of the amazing people in my life, but I know that God put them there because I was worth it. I know that I'm here because people love me, and they are here to support me because they see what I can become and what I am at my best.

I'm exhausted and need to get to bed, but I just wanted to send a message saying- I'm not necessarily okay right now, but I will be. I'm not as strong as I've been, but I will be stronger tomorrow.

I may not be the happiest with where I am right now, but I am moving, so I won't be here for long.

Thanks for reading, for being here for me--unseen, but here.

Sincerely,
Doug

Airports, and the Best of Humanity

Dear Readers,

As you know, I have spent quite a bit of time in airports this week coming back from Portugal, and as I have, I've been amazed. Why, you might ask? Simply put, it is because I have seen what airports do to people, and that is amazing!

I would like to share a couple of examples here of how this is true;

1. No one ever judges you for the way you look in an airport. You can walk around in your comfy clothes without your hair looking perfect and you can even have one of those neck pillows on and no one gives it a second thought. Everyone knows that we're all in for a tiring experience ranging from an hour to over thirty based on location and destination--and everyone understands.

2. Everyone is helpful. It seems to me that in every flight that has ever occurred there will inevitably be that one person that has a hard time getting their bag into the overhead compartment. There is also inevitably some kind person that will help. Everyone knows that sometimes our baggage is heavy and unwieldy, and they're always with a disposition to help.

3. Whenever someone sits next to you, you can have a friendly conversation. This one a little less sometimes--I know that by the end of my travels I was zonked out and wasn't in a very talkative mood, but there is always something to say. People care. Where are you going? Where are you from? Are you on vacation? Without ever knowing your name, people will share their lives with you, and will allow you to do the same. They provide a listening ear without needing all the details.

4. Everyone has your back in one way or another. Did you drop something? Did you accidentally forget your cell phone charging where you sat by your gate? Did your bag fall and dispel all of its contents on the floor? There is always someone that is more than willing to help you out. They make sure that you make it to where you are going with everything that you came with.


These are just a few things that I observed in my travels this week, and I am grateful for the eye-opening experience. Seeing the kindness and unity that people bring with them in their travels is a testimony to me of the goodness in the world.

Now--I thought as I was writing this, what if we decided to make the world our airport, so to speak. I know that most of us do this naturally, but imagine if we honed in the same ideas in our day to day lives;

1. What if we didn't judge people?
2. What if we helped people with their baggage, helped them carry their loads?
3. What if we just talked to new people, just to know them better?
4. What if we decided to always have each others' backs, no matter what?

As I said, I imagine that most of us do this all the time, but what if we decided to do more? I found a video this morning and although the concept is familiar, I wanted to add it in here just to make a little point. When we do something that appears small, we're actually helping a greater cause. We're helping the cause of hope, of faith, of kindness, and the cause of humanity itself.

My name is Doug Knuth, and I believe in the good in the world.

Pride and Prejudice

Dear Readers,

For many of you readers, you already know that for some time I have had a rather irrational distaste for Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice. Oh my how it infuriated me to see that there was something like this that simply engulfed so many young women in the idea of romance like this. How anyone could possibly want to have such a relationship was beyond me, and I felt rather justified in my opinion.

That is, until last week.


While strolling around Tumblr I found a post by Hank Green announcing that the Lizzie Bennet Diaries were going to receive an Emmy. Well, I had to check it out of course. I remember seeing a friend watch it and distinctly thinking "what--ANOTHER RENDITION OF THAT STORY?! NOT AGAIN!"

Well, to all of the ladies in my life, I have to admit that I was prideful, and prejudiced. I watched all of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. In like two days. I had only ever watched the Mormon (also known as the pink) Pride and Prejudice. I always fell asleep when I watched the other ones and I judged them by what I saw.

What I saw was a prideful girl and a prideful boy that couldn't just spit out how they felt. I saw the hardships, I saw the trials, I saw the sadness of betrayal, I saw the darker part of our nature. I judged it and was critical of it. I even sort of judged the people that liked it. Not in a sort of permanent fashion, or in any way thought less of them--I just felt like I was constantly being compared to Mr. Darcy, and I didn't feel like I measured up.

So--I watched about 175 YouTube videos, and my opinion has changed. My outlook has changed, and maybe I'm willing to give things a better chance. I really found that I loved the story. I became very attached to the characters, the way I always seem to when I find a good story.

I want to apologize to everyone that I've ever bashed Pride and Prejudice to. I didn't give it a chance, and I should know better than to judge a book by its cover.

I've been in Europe for a month now, and I have been learning a lot about myself. Its funny because I even had a fortune cookie that said this would happen. I'm ready for a change again. I'm ready to return home and be a healthier person, all over. I'm ready to be that person that I want to be--maybe more like Mr. Darcy, a little more like Bing, and I'm sure glad that I still don't have anything in common with Mr. Wickham. I want to be that man that my wife is looking for, and I really think I am ready to start going to find her. I'm not perfect, in fact I'm quite flawed, but I know that I'm getting there.

I have given Pride and Prejudice a second chance, and I hope that I can give myself a second chance with less pride and prejudice.

I know that this might not seem like a big deal to you, my dear reader, but it is. I have been scared of love for so long, scared of hurting someone that I love, but more than that being scared of being hurt. It is as I always seem to tell people though, it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

My name is Doug Knuth, and when I come home I want to give myself a better chance.
-Darcy FTW-


On a slightly more normal blog related note-
We can all be a little more like this Beatles song and greet a brand new day. Let's do that :)

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play

Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

Look around round round
Look around round round
Oh look around

Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play

Thank You, Yes YOU

Dear Readers,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone in my life. Things are crazy, things are nuts, and at times I am downright crazy. I have hard times, and you're always there for me. It seems that there is always someone that has been put in my life to be exactly who and what I need at the given time. God has it in for me you know--He has it in for me to succeed in my life, no matter how silly I am at times.

That's thanks to you. Thanks to the friends, the family members, the random strangers who smile, the brave, the listeners, the meek, the kind, the loving, the shoulder to cry on, the friend who's always there, the friend that randomly calls, the friend that trusts me enough to know that she can call anytime and just vent, the friends who love me with my past, and love me for my future.

You have made me who I am today.

I have learned how to be patient, kind, loving, honest, open, optimistic from you. You show me daily that there really are things worth fighting for in this turbulent world. You give me purpose. You lift me, and there is so much more. I just want to take a moment, as I said, to tell you that, from the bottom of my heart to the very top--that I love you. That I am grateful for you. That I want to always be there for you. I want you to know that you are amazing. You make my life better.

Thank you for being you,
-Doug Knuth

You are now Under Attack

Dear Readers,

It's July now. There are so many things that I want to write about. First of them is that I want to attack you. 

You're probably a little confused there--and that's okay, I'll explain. I want to attack your weaknesses. I want to attack your insecurities, your worries, your deepest fears--just for a minute. 

I'm officially attacking the following about YOU;

-The idea that you can't do something. 

-The lie that you aren't good enough. 

-The thought that there is something that is holding you back. 

-The very thought of entitlement. 

-The idea that you are a hypocrite. 

-The very wisp of a thought that you don't matter. 

I attack these things because they are lies. They aren't real. These things aren't true about you--and I know it's hard, but STOP BELIEVING THEM ALREADY. 

Our Good God in Heaven didn't create you so that you could doubt yourself. That's damnation. Don't build it! You were meant to be an amazing, coursing river that will bring life to all around it, and that will flow into the great ocean. You have no right to doubt yourself, when the two greatest beings in the universe don't do so. Above that, you have some sort of family that loves you. 

Don't settle. 

Here are some specifics for you. 

-The idea that you can't do something-

    Whoever tells you anything like this should not be listened to. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Humans have done everything from writing books that have endured for centuries to creating spaceships that have gone to the moon. Nothing made them any different than you or I. We are born with gifts, but there isn't anything that stops us from learning something that is hard. 

The solution? DO HARD THINGS. Don't give up. Don't settle for second best. Don't even think about it. Take a stand. Be GREAT. I am sick and tired of people that I love thinking that they can't do something because there isn't enough ______________ in their life. We live in a time of opportunity. We live in a time where we can do ANYTHING. Don't be scared of failure. 

-The lie that you aren't good enough. 

   You ARE. 

-The thought that there is something that is holding you back. 

   The only thing that can really ever hold you back is YOU. 

-The very thought of entitlement. 

   Sickens me. The world doesn't owe you anything. There are amazing people in it that will help you. There are so many opportunities out there, BUT it's your duty to work for them! Good grief, we have so much! 

-The idea that you are a hypocrite. 

   Oh please--stop this one now. YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCRITE. Hypocritical about a small detail of your life--maybe on a bad day. In general? NO. I REPEAT NO--AND FOR A THIRD TIME--YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCRITE. 

-The very wisp of a thought that you don't matter. 

   God created you and if that isn't enough for you to think that you matter then take a moment to think of all of the people out there that LOVE you. Don't take that one lightly. It's a big deal too. 

I want you to really think about this. Why? Because I really wrote this for myself originally. I write it again for you because I know how much better I feel when I attack myself in this sort of way. I will not accept the bad parts of myself as who I will always be. 

I know with a surety that I'm not perfect. Not being perfect is okay though. I deserve happiness in my life, and so do you. I live in the country of opportunity and there isn't anything I can't do. You do too. Wherever you are. 

I can't really put it into words, just how much I believe in you. I have put everything I have into making my life happy, worthwhile, and wholesome, and you know what? It still isn't perfect, but it's mine! I made my life! How amazing is that?!?!?! Can you even comprehend that??? YOU made your life. It is full of fun times, sad times, times where you succeeded and didn't succeed, and all of the other ones in the middle, and NO ONE can ever make that happen again! We have so much we can do! I can do anything I want to, I can learn and grow in the perfect way for myself! You can too, and I hope that you do. 

I love you!!!! 

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!

-Doug Knuth

Super Sunday!

Dear Readers,

I know that I need to pay attention to the special broadcast that I am watching right now, but I want to make sure that I record these feelings right now. There is such a power, such a joy, such a supernal feeling in my heart right now. I was in the middle of feeling low about myself, my trials, and the little things that I allowed to cloud my vision--and all of a sudden I am in the realm of celestial joy!

My heart is in missionary work and I know that it will always roll forth. I know with all that I am--every single fiber of my heart, mind, soul, that this gospel is true. Jesus is the Christ. He truly Atoned for all of our sins, and I love him.

I know that my mission was amazing. My mission changed me in ways that I can never fully understand. I am so overwhelmed by gratitude, love for missionary work, and for pretty much everything!

God renewed, as always, my soul. The darkness that clouded me, even just that little bit, is completely gone.

What I want more than anything right now is to embrace the people that have made such a difference in my life. I want to share the love I have for them. I want them to know that they have changed my eternity. There are so many special people in my life. Every one of them does something that saves me. Each day. Every time I need someone--without fail.

Sincerely,
Doug Knuth

Faith Over Fear- A Superman Story

Dear Readers, 

There isn't much more I can say than I said in the title. I want to write a bit about it though. I was reading a talk yesterday and that thought came to me. It is so simple, really--and so very amazing! Can I even really understand what that means to me? Putting faith over fear really is the secret to living a happy life. 

I have a friend that's been going through a hard time and I did my best to give him some advice. He told me that I am one of the happiest people that he knows. You know what? I may be. 

Do you want to know how?

Do you want to know the secret? 

Do you want to know how to be happy? 

Well, you've already read the answer. 

Put faith over fear, and your life will change. It isn't easy to do. It takes hard work. It takes being more afraid than you can even imagine at times. It takes putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. You have to be vulnerable to God, to your friends and family, and to the world. You have to have the same faith that Superman had--faith that he could trust humanity with who he was. Your super power might not involve lifting buildings or laser-vision, but let me tell you that faith becomes a super power. 

Deciding that it is better to love or trust and be hurt than to never feel--that's how you find it. You take chances, make mistakes, and get messy. At times your heart will ache until you think that there is no more pain that you can handle. That's what makes it worth it though. 

There is no way to feel that joy and love that life has to offer if you spend your time worrying that you'll stop feeling that way. 

Superman had to know that his whole world was gone, and he almost lost everything that he cared about. He could have even lost his life. That's how we must live. Not crashing around the world or saving the whole thing at once, but taking that Hero's chance to do something that could make the difference. THAT is how you find happiness. 

That's how you find joy, and live your life. 

We are blessed with so much, SO VERY MUCH. Take a minute to count ten things that you have right now that have made your life better. 

We have no right to complain, no right to make the world darker. Darkness will always come from behind the light, and we will create more of what we focus on! 

My friends--go forth and be awesome. Do great things. The world will surprise you with how much good it has, if you only take the time to go and see it. 

I love you. 

Make today count.

You are infinite. 

You are great. 

You know what to do. 

There is much waiting on you. 

People need your BEST SELF. 

Don't save it for some day in the future, or it will never come! 

Sincerely, 

Doug Knuth

What do I stand for? Some Nights--no, today I know!

Today I feel so nostalgic. I feel a great desire to return to the MTC and I really know that my mission was a special part of my life. Right now I KNOW that if I could conjure a Patronus it would work, from the power of these feelings. I remember the excitement, the love, and the bright times that I experienced! I feel not quite, but a little close to the way Alma felt when he declared "Oh that I were an angel". Oh that I were a missionary again! Oh that I worked at the MTC! I still could! 

Today I want to challenge you to think of some time in your life when you had a powerful emotion that changed you for the better! Goodness--there isn't anything that I can't do! There is so much light!! There is so much to be done in the world!!! 

To quote HeMan- "I HAVE THE POWER!!!"

Or rather, WE HAVE THE POWER!!!

We have time! We have minds! We have resources! We have so much!

What is stopping me today from being so amazing that I change the world? 

What is stopping me from helping someone? 

What is stopping me from making something beautiful? 

What is stopping me from smiling? 

What stops me from doing more?

The answer to all these questions is exactly the same: Nothing. 

Nothing is stopping me from shining and soaring and making the world better than it is! How can I sit around and waste my time when I have so much to do?!?!?!

Let's go and just DO IT! Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy! 

CHANGE THE WORLD!

You can do it! We can all do it! We are the future! Let us all go forth and be awesome!!!!

The hard things are only the hard things until they are easy, done, and we realize just how much more we can do than we think we can do! 

Don't you get it? 

God MADE YOU. 

He doesn't make failures. He makes successes. He makes geniuses. He makes the movers and shakers. He makes us all to succeed! 

Never, EVER give up. Don't you dare. Don't you even look back or be afraid. Don't you EVER listen to those voices in your head that lie to you.!!!!!

You are amazing!!!!!!!

You have infinite potential!!!!! 

Keep your head up!!!!!!!

Don't forget--God loves you! Christ loves you! I love you! 

You--yes, you. Go out and do it! 

Sincerely, 

Doug Knuth

June means?

Dear Readers, 

June means that we're half way through the year. 
June means that we're finishing up Spring, and that Summer is on its way. 
June means that we've had six months to work on our New Year's Resolutions. 
June means that we're looking forward. 
June means that I'm here. 

I have had a couple of down weeks. Why? I've been down in the dumps because I couldn't give up the one thing that I needed to to know my Savior better. I didn't want to give up my past. I didn't want to see the bright future that June holds for me. Do you know why, my dear Reader? I didn't want to because there is evil in the world that doesn't want me to be happy. 

You know what though? I say FIE! FIE ON YOU EVIL! I am going to laugh in evil's face! HAH! 

TAKE THAT! 

I will NOT settle for mediocrity in my life! I WILL NOT! I WILL NEVER! I WILL PERSEVERE! 
There is nothing for me to fear. I KNOW that my God will see me through. I know that I am more than enough to take care of business. 

I will not damn myself! I will be a river, and I will flow on! 

C.S. Lewis had the following to say. It brought me to tears yesterday and it's helped me to gain a little bit of perspective;

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

I will be that palace that God wants me to be! 

I will be amazing! 

I will be awesome! 

I will succeed! 

I will do it! 

I can do it! 

I know that God lives! 

I know that I am a Son of God! 

I know that I am good enough for the things that I want to do with my life! 

Now, my dear reader, apply these things to yourself. 

YOU ARE amazing! 

YOU ARE awesome! 

YOU WILL succeed! 

YOU WILL do it! 

YOU CAN do it! 

YOU KNOW that God lives! 

YOU KNOW that you are a Son/Daughter of God! 

I know that YOU ARE good enough for the things that you want to do with your life! 

Don't let the world get you down. It sucks. 

Remember that you are amazing. 

I will never give up. 

Nothing can stop me but my own weaknesses, and today, those won't get my down. That's a CHOICE I'm making. 

I CHOOSE JOY. 

I CHOOSE a brighter future. 

I CHOOSE June!

I love you all. 

Go forth and make impossible things happen. 

Love, 

Doug Knuth

Carry On!

Dear Readers, 

This week! I'm back in Rexburg after a long weekend, and I am ready for what I can do! I'm finding more strength to pass through hard things, and as I find it, I see that it comes from within. As I exercise faith in God and in the promises I have in my life, I find that they are always fulfilled. I can always find a way to make it through the hard times, and not by cheating the rules or doing anything less than I should. 

I find that I'm becoming who I want to be, one day at a time. I can't be perfect at everything all at once forever, but I can be better than I was yesterday. I can be more than I was a week ago, a month ago, a year ago. I can be the man I want to be, the father I hope to become, the husband I want for my wife, just by doing my very best--and nothing less! 

I will be that man! I can do it! I know that we can all be the person that we want to be by doing little things each day. In a talk I read this week, Richard G. Scott said, "...little things lead to big things..." I have a testimony of that in my life. Doing little things one day at a time is really how we make it in the end, and I am so very grateful for all of the blessings I have for what I do! Calling a friend I haven't talked to in a while, helping out somewhere, or in general just serving anyone I can brings me closer to the Savior! Doing my homework brings me closer to being the provider for my family. 

I am learning each day how to be less selfish. It isn't easy, and requires that I look frankly at who I am, what I am doing, and what I need to change, but I can see that it's working. I can see that, albeit I am flawed, my flaws can diminish a little bit as I work to be better! It's such a good feeling! 

We can all carry on. We can all find that part of ourselves to better. I know it, and I know it about you! You have a great work to do, wherever you are. You have people to save. You have a family to raise. You have friends that need you, and that you need! You can't give up on yourself if you really think about how important each of us is in the grand scheme of things. Sure one person could somehow not make a difference, but if more than one person thinks that way, we're done for! We have to be the strong link sometimes, and sometimes we hold on to the other ones. Never let go though! 

 

I know that you'll do great things, and I plan on being there with you to do them too! 

Happy May everyone! I hope that June brings forth as many blessings as blossoms for you! 

Sincerely, 

Doug Knuth

The Wrong Side of Bed, or the Right Side of Life?

Dear Readers,
I woke up totally unenthused for today. I wanted to go back to bed. I wanted to cover myself up and just not exist for the day. I didn't want to look at the pile of homework I have to work on, think about the laundry that I need to fold, or in general deal with the world. I was rather less than excited about my day.

I got up any ways. I took a shower, and it helped a little bit. I went to the I-Center to study a bit before class, and the balcony that I wanted to use to be alone was locked and so I had to sit in the lobby up there instead. I went to class, and that helped a little more, but I was still a little down. In fact, I might still be a little down. You know what though--that's okay.

I don't have to be 100% all the time. I may not be okay, but that's okay. A friend of mine taught me that this week.

I know though, this phrase can be a little misleading, so I want to elaborate. I have struggles in my life. I face my own dragons and although I know that they can be beaten, some days they look much tougher than others. Even if my best just means getting out of bed in the morning, that's what I'll do. I can do hard things, and some days that's a lot less than others. There are days where I can practically fly I am so happy. There are other days that a smile weighs a ton to wear.

I will never give up on that though. Things may be hard, and I know that at times my life may be hard. I am learning that I have to acknowledge my own hardships, and I feel that I am being drawn closer to Christ through that.

I will never, ever give up, and I will never, ever give up on any of you. There is ALWAYS another day tomorrow, even if that day isn't in this life. We will always be capable beings that can change, for the better or for the worse.

I am leaning more about changing for the better. We can't just deny that a part of ourselves may exist. Saying that we aren't something that we truly are is akin to saying that there are less rooms in our home than there are. Saying that it isn't there doesn't change that it is there, and we can only be complete when we see it as a whole. We can change what we put in the room, or what it's for, but we need to be okay with it being there.

So, that's where I'm at right now, my dear readers. I'm going through it as best I can, and that's all I need. Thank you so much for acknowledging me, thank you for taking the time to read. I wish for you the best day you can have today, and that as you walk along your path you can feel whole with all of your life. After all, it's the only one you've got!

DFTBA!
With much love!
Doug Knuth

On the Corner of the Gall of Bitterness and the Boulevard of Not so Broken Dreams

Dear Readers, 

When the day is long and the shadows fall upon our paths, the clouds gather and we feel the rain adding an extra pound onto our already unbearable load. When the light at the end of the tunnel is dim, and when it seems as though our present struggles will consume all of everything that we have and are, we stare at the world and think. When you can't wrap around the problems you face, and you know that no one could possibly know how you feel, not really, or feel truly alone, sometimes you cry. 

I know these things because I have felt this way. I have had many a hard day in my life. I don't pretend that they're the same as anyone else, or that I can understand the same pain, but I know what mine is like; and I know how hard it can be. I know what it feels like to have the weight of my world on my shoulders, and not in a good way. I know what it feels like to hurt so close to the center of your heart that you don't know if it will ever get better. I know that feeling the way I've felt it, and I know that it sucks. That's the best way to say it that I know. It just sucks. 

I know what it's like to think you'll never be happy again people. I know what it's like to think that everyone hates you just because you're the way you are, or because you messed up. I've done plenty of that in my life, plenty more than I needed to ever do. I've been sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I am tired of it! 

This world will try to kick your butt and shove you around, and push you down until you never want to get back up. I know how that feels too. Not the way you do, but I know it. 

You know what else I know though? I know the following; 

"It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something... There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

-Sam, Lord of the Rings

I know that deep in my soul, my friends. Today may be a damned dark and horrid day, but that doesn't change who you are for even a minute. You are a Child of God with a capital C because you are important. The battles you fight are real wherever they may be, and I sure as heaven and hell know of the truthfulness of that. 

Don't you dare give up. You owe it to your parents, friends, children, spouse, to the angels in heaven, to those you love that have passed on, and in general to every single person that ever fought for your freedom to make it. 

There have been too many lives lost, too many chances untaken, for you to give up where you are right now. I love you. I know how hard it is. I'm fighting too. Every day I fight to love myself, and to love my neighbor. I fight to live a happy life that is full of meaning. I fight for the right, for the good, for the beauty, for the joy of life, and I'll fight for yours. 

I never give up. I never will. 

Neither should you. 

Believe. 

Live. 

Love. 

Have joy. 

I love you. 

-Doug Knuth

Just Another Day-Or not- and Homework is a Blessing!!!! Oh, and Happy Thursday!!!

Dear Readers,

We're in to the semester now. We're past the first two weeks and we've hit the chorus to "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel" now. There is a lot of work to be done, and it doesn't seem as though there is enough time to do it all in. It's a little cloudy today, but that's alright! I have amazing friends, a good work ethic (for the first time in my life), and I have God on my side. I know that it's just a Thursday, but that's what makes today so amazing. I can have one of those days that is just another day in my life. I can have a day where nothing goes horribly wrong, and I think that we need to be more grateful for those days!

I mean to say that if the fact that it might rain is the worst part of your day then you're doing pretty good! If there isn't anything huge that's tearing your life apart (and homework does NOT count!) then you should be grateful! That's what I want to focus on! Thank you God for a normal day, one in which I can just be me and--oh wait, I'm going to see the PIANO GUYS TONIGHT! Today is NOT a normal day! It's better than that! Even if it was just another normal day though, I believe that it being a completely normal day makes it that much more special! We can live!

Homework is a blessing, I've come to believe. Please don't misunderstand--I'm still not the best at it. I'm not grateful enough for it, but think about homework. It's there for one reason, so that we can learn! In its very essence homework is an amazing blessing in our lives!!!! We have the chance to work to better ourselves and the world around us, so why should we bemoan our fate? We can enjoy it and even in the case of my math class where I have to love it with a little bit of a forced grin on my face, I'll make myself love it until I do so more freely! I know that it will benefit me!

I hope that everyone's having a great Thursday! Even if it isn't Thursday when you read this, I hope that the nearest Thursday treats you well and that you'll love it!

YOU are great! YOU can do this! YOU are amazing! YOU have a strong heart and a strong will. YOU can go and make the world better, just by being your best self. Don't settle for less than that of yourself or those around you!

I love you!
-Doug Knuth

Weekend Delights, and Renewed Spirits

Dear Readers,

I am a member of the Student Support organization here at BYU-Idaho, and with a great blessing I have been added as a member of the Student Ambassadors Council. This weekend we had a retreat and I have to tell you, my dear readers, I thought that I'd already experienced the greatest feelings I could at this point in my life. I was reminded that my capacity to experience can always be stretched.

We participated in the Quadrant Activity, and it was amazing. Mind you the entire weekend was filled with amazing happy/spiritual times, service, and cookie demolishing, but this was the pinnacle of the whole experience. It was so simple too. Each of us took the time to fill out a simple worksheet that included some personal information and three traits that we love and cherish about ourselves.

We then sat in a circle and began the activity. A person in the circle would say a little about what they had written down along with the three traits that they cherish about him/herself and then everyone in the circle would take a turn and say something that they had noticed and appreciated about that person. Seems simple, right? Well, when there are seventeen people telling you why they love you unconditionally, having met you the day before, you feel special--no--more than that. You feel edified. You know that you are loved, simply for being you.

When the activity began I admit that I wasn't thinking only about the good things. I was wondering what sort of things that people had thought about me, and I was worried. Everyone seemed so kind and loving that I felt quite less than them. Yet when it came my turn to speak I felt the Spirit so amazingly strong. Really. I don't know how to tell you. It was the most amazing feeling. These wonderful people had seen right through me to the heart of the things that I hold dearest. They said things about me that I didn't think anyone noticed. They told me that I was exactly who I hope to one day be. They said the right thing at the right moment. I was overwhelmed with the love that was in the room. I still am.

There are few moments in my life where I knew with some overpoweringly amazing and personal deepness that I was loved for exactly who I am, without any doubt at all in my mind. Saturday May 4th, 2013 was one of those days. My amazing friends (and I use the word friend because I can't think of something stronger than friend to describe the love I have for these individuals) have lifted me in a special way this weekend. I will never forget the things that they've done for me. They've changed my life for the better. That's a big deal for me.

I learned many, many lessons from this experience, and I wanted to share one of them. I happen to worry about what people think too much. I worry about every little thing because I don't want to offend anyone or make them upset. I worry all day about everything, and through this experience I've gained a testimony that people are much better than we give them credit for. I want to love people more and worry less about upsetting them. No one really seems to be upset by the things that I say, and generally people just think that I apologize too much.

I am going to work on having a more positive attitude about the nature of the people around me. Thank you everyone, for teaching me that.

I love you all. (council members, friends, family, loved ones, all of you)
I won't let you down! Have a great day!
-Doug

New Beginnings

Dear Readers,

What a weekend I had! There was simply too much for me to handle! Everything became amazing and awesome as I just couldn't stop smiling. I loved the experience I had with Get Connected so very much and I couldn't contain myself! Today is the second day of my second semester at BYU-Idaho, and I am already SOO EXCITED!!! I am at a college, and my job is to LEARN! What more could I ask for? Amazing friends? Check! Wonderful classes and amazing teachers? Check! Awesome school programs that challenge me and help me to want more out of myself? Check! Indomitable spirit and sense of hope and optimism for the next four months? SUPER CHECK! Supernal desire to learn and prepare to make the future so bright I'll have to wear my sun glasses at night? CHECK!

I'm ready to go! Spring is working on getting around, and I love the fun mystery of each day! I love my life right now and the direction I have!

I want to take another opportunity to renew my New Year's Resolutions too! I won't be forgetting them, especially a few weeks after Easter! I will remember them, I will remember those that came before me, and I will remember that I am preparing the future for my children! How amazing is that!? Every one of us is the lynch pin that holds a part of the world together! We're all the amazing little cogs in this giant clock of time! How can I even think about not doing something amazing today?! This is another chance for a better tomorrow, but I can do it today!

I know that most of my posts must start to sound the same, but it is always the same sun rising high in the sky feeling that I have in my heart when I write! I want to share this amazing new CD of awesome music feeling! I know that there are these nostalgic after high school graduation I can do anything feelings in each of us and I want everyone to remember that they can do amazing things! We are all here with this amazing opportunity! Take it today!

I challenge you to make today a new beginning for something in your life! Restart some goal that has fallen from your gaze, think a little more about how you can serve those around you, or just in general keep up your amazing pace! Are you falling behind? Sit for a second, tie your running shoes up and get going! Spring is coming (it snowed here yesterday, so it isn't quite here yet) and we have to catch it while it is around! Spring cleaning is coming in fast, so let's clean out our sad feelings, dust off the optimist hats, and throw out the trash that gathers in our minds saying 'you can't' and fill it with some of your favorite new memories that you'll make in the next few days!

YOU ARE SO AMAZING! YOU SHINE WHEN YOU SMILE!
YOU MAKE MY LIFE A BETTER ONE BY BEING YOU!
THE ALL CAPS IS SO THAT YOU PAY ATTENTION AND KNOW THAT I'M SERIOUS AND THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT--JUST LIKE YOU!!!!

Have a more excellent day and remember I love you!!!!
Doug Knuth!

The Life of a Blessed Boy

Dear Readers,

I am so tired right now that my whole body aches in every way I can imagine. It isn't a sort of ache that I can't handle, and it certainly isn't one that will stand up to the four ibuprofen that I just took, and I'm not at war with the ache. I earned it today, and it helps me know that I worked. 

My heart is just so SO SO FULL of gratitude that I can't express it in words. I can't begin to tell you how amazing it has been the last few days, and I'll explain why! 

I work with the student volunteer organization on campus called Student Support. We have been working this week with the amazing individuals that put on the new student orientation, and let me tell you I wouldn't trade these last three days (or tomorrow for that matter) for anything. Not for Disney, not for wishes, not for anything. I have met people that will change the world. I have been around true greatness. 

There isn't even a moment I have in which I could begin to write down all of the amazing things that have happened, not tonight. I need to sleep because tomorrow will be another early morning. I plan on making time on Sunday though, where I can just sit down and think. 

Reader. Yes. YOU. Right now, reading this post, I want you to BELIEVE--even if just for me, for a moment--believe that the world is good. Believe in the good in people. Believe in their amazing potential. Believe in that part that loves the world, that wants to grow. Believe in the part that will make the tomorrow that you dream in your heart. Believe in them enough to make yourself part of that change. Believe in happiness and joy. Put your money down for the team that you already know will win. 

Now that you believe, even if it is just for me, for this moment, take that and do something. Go brighten the world in that one way that only you can! I KNOW that you can do it!!!! Oh goodness you have SO MUCH POTENTIAL! GO FOR IT! USE IT! Make the impossible happen! We did it in the past when we sent a man to the moon, and you can do something just as monumental with just a little bit of inspiration and perspiration! Don't you doubt for a second! (If you do, take a step back and remember that if no one else does [and there ARE more] I BELIEVE IN YOU!)

Know that I believe in you. I've been a little less happy lately, but the people that I love here at BYU-Idaho have proven to me once again that I am loved, that I am surrounded by greatness, and that there really is HOPE for a new day! Tomorrow will be amazing. God even made it rain knowing that I would be able to fall asleep to the drops against the window next to my bed. 

I love you so much and I love this world. Know that I've had crazy amazing days, and they'll make some amazing stories here soon. Make yours happen today, and tell me about it the next day!

This is Doug, Signing off for the night! 

MUCH LOVE!

Why We Celebrate Easter

Dear Everyone,

Happy Easter! It was 22 years ago that I was born today, and there are a couple of things that I have been thinking of. I want to share something about Easter that came to me right now, as I sit on a bus heading home from Utah to Idaho.

Easter as we celebrate  it is a celebration of Christ over the Grave. It is a celebration of victory. It is a celebration of completion, of happiness, of life, of hope, of the future. We are those who survive Christ, and that people so long ago. Each year we take some time to be grateful for what we have, but I want to take it a step further this year. Let us take it to the step that we will do just that in our lives.

Let’s celebrate our successes. Let’s celebrate our good grades, our accomplishments. Let’s decide that we will Carry On and move forward with our lives! The best birthday present anyone could give me would to be a promise that he or she will never ever give up. You want to make me the happiest friend ever? Be happy with the things you have, and make your life more than that! Find beauty in the mundane, and make the mundane impressive!

Don’t allow yourself to settle in life,  especially with yourself. Don’t accept mediocrity! Don’t allow your Monday’s to be bad! Make rainy days the ones that are the sunniest! Do you realize how much YOU can do? Do you know how much any one person can do? One person who was just like us saved the human race. We can’t quite do that because He already did, but we can do quite a bit! Doubt and fear rob faith. One of the wisest people I know told me once that worrying shows a dedicated lack of faith.

I also recently heard a good saying about doubting, and how it isn’t worth our time. Can we really afford to waste even a moment of our lives worrying all that much? Please don’t misread—I’m the chief culprit here. If worrying were an Olympic sport I would have a few gold medals to pin on the wall! HOWEVER! I work every day to not worry so much. I work my mind and heart together to fight against my weaknesses. That’s what Christ did. That’s what He taught us to do.

He already felt everything that we will ever feel. He already knows how amazing you are. We are given weaknesses not to trip us up or to tear us down, but rather to lift us closer to God and as an opportunity to grow and learn. I can’t think of anything better to do than to overcome.

That’s what Easter is all about too, isn’t it?

To sum up today’s message, I invite you to overcome something and come forth a better, stronger person. I know you can!

I love you all! Happy Easter!!

-Doug Knuth

New Week!

Dear Readers,
Well, we have another week in front of us! This one is special for all of the Christian world, and for me (my birthday!), but most of all it is going to be special for YOU! Why you may ask? For no reason at all--and yet for everything. YOU are an amazing person that is going to save your world this week! You are going to make a decision, take a chance, do something fantastic, that is going to make all the difference!

This week will be one worth remembering. This week will be something out of the ordinary, simply because it is a week in which we will live that will never happen again! We are constantly living in history, and this week will help us grow and will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! How amazing is that! We have a limited number of chances to make a difference in the world. I don't want to even think of how boring my life would be if I didn't ever make a difference.

Sure, at times I take a little while and unwind on the computer. We all do! The thing that will make this week amazing though, is what we do on the computer, and whilst we are away from the screen!!!!

There are so many good things in the world! Broken Record Doug is saying it again, the world is an amazing place! YOU MATTER! YOU CAN DO IT!

I just want to jump around and yell! I believe in the people around me so much, we just have to be able to look in the mirror and see those amazing things in ourselves and then go and act on them!!

We can change the world! We WILL change the world! It won't be through complaining or negativity. Cynicism will never get anyone anywhere, and pessimism is there on the couch next to him! Optimism will win in the end. I will forever be the Optimist. I will never ever give up and I will never ever give up on you, my reader.

Listen to your favorite uplifting energetic song to start out the week and then make it happen! You're dreams are calling, and they want to meet with you. They're waiting right where you put them! Go and get them and make them happen!

Have an amazing, fantastic, sunny, bright, energetic, healthy week, and remember that you are loved!
-Doug Knuth

Rexburg or Bust and Bursting with Optimism!!!

Dear Readers,

I’m writing this on the way home to Rexburg right now! Having a long car ride to think about things has filled me with a new sense of purpose and excitement about life and I wanted to take a minute to write about that! I was just listening to music and I thought—why don’t I just have an amazing day, and then an amazing week, work really hard, get work done, be happy and amazing, and just make the whole world know it?!

Well, I may not be able to touch the whole world, but I know what I will work to make my corner of it brighter and better than it was before! I love the world, and I love what I am doing! I am learning and growing in an amazing university, I have been blessed with amazing friends, and I am living in an amazing part of history! I live in an age where I can talk to my mom on Facebook from an airplane and write a blog post in a car! I can do anything!

I am one person, but one person can make a difference in the world! Yeah, we all have down days. Down weeks, months, or even years sometimes. It doesn’t matter that we have hard times. What matters is that we are part of the human race. We make up part of a group of beings that are learning, growing, and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Sure there are bad things in the world. Sure there are natural disasters happening. What is the important part to remember though? The important thing to remember is that we have a choice. We can make the world sadder, darker, and harder to bear, or we can make it shine.

Every one of us has within us infinite potential to do good and make things better! Why focus on sad things? I know that I sound like a broken record with this, but it’s only because I go around and hit the same part in my life. I need to remind myself, or be reminded, that there is good in the world, and that it is worth fighting to protect! We’re change! We are the ones that will make a difference! One day at a time we can be that future that we want!

Have a great week everyone!!