Dear Readers,
I woke up totally unenthused for today. I wanted to go back to bed. I wanted to cover myself up and just not exist for the day. I didn't want to look at the pile of homework I have to work on, think about the laundry that I need to fold, or in general deal with the world. I was rather less than excited about my day.
I got up any ways. I took a shower, and it helped a little bit. I went to the I-Center to study a bit before class, and the balcony that I wanted to use to be alone was locked and so I had to sit in the lobby up there instead. I went to class, and that helped a little more, but I was still a little down. In fact, I might still be a little down. You know what though--that's okay.
I don't have to be 100% all the time. I may not be okay, but that's okay. A friend of mine taught me that this week.
I know though, this phrase can be a little misleading, so I want to elaborate. I have struggles in my life. I face my own dragons and although I know that they can be beaten, some days they look much tougher than others. Even if my best just means getting out of bed in the morning, that's what I'll do. I can do hard things, and some days that's a lot less than others. There are days where I can practically fly I am so happy. There are other days that a smile weighs a ton to wear.
I will never give up on that though. Things may be hard, and I know that at times my life may be hard. I am learning that I have to acknowledge my own hardships, and I feel that I am being drawn closer to Christ through that.
I will never, ever give up, and I will never, ever give up on any of you. There is ALWAYS another day tomorrow, even if that day isn't in this life. We will always be capable beings that can change, for the better or for the worse.
I am leaning more about changing for the better. We can't just deny that a part of ourselves may exist. Saying that we aren't something that we truly are is akin to saying that there are less rooms in our home than there are. Saying that it isn't there doesn't change that it is there, and we can only be complete when we see it as a whole. We can change what we put in the room, or what it's for, but we need to be okay with it being there.
So, that's where I'm at right now, my dear readers. I'm going through it as best I can, and that's all I need. Thank you so much for acknowledging me, thank you for taking the time to read. I wish for you the best day you can have today, and that as you walk along your path you can feel whole with all of your life. After all, it's the only one you've got!
DFTBA!
With much love!
Doug Knuth
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