When the day is long and the shadows fall upon our paths, the clouds gather and we feel the rain adding an extra pound onto our already unbearable load. When the light at the end of the tunnel is dim, and when it seems as though our present struggles will consume all of everything that we have and are, we stare at the world and think. When you can't wrap around the problems you face, and you know that no one could possibly know how you feel, not really, or feel truly alone, sometimes you cry.
I know these things because I have felt this way. I have had many a hard day in my life. I don't pretend that they're the same as anyone else, or that I can understand the same pain, but I know what mine is like; and I know how hard it can be. I know what it feels like to have the weight of my world on my shoulders, and not in a good way. I know what it feels like to hurt so close to the center of your heart that you don't know if it will ever get better. I know that feeling the way I've felt it, and I know that it sucks. That's the best way to say it that I know. It just sucks.
I know what it's like to think you'll never be happy again people. I know what it's like to think that everyone hates you just because you're the way you are, or because you messed up. I've done plenty of that in my life, plenty more than I needed to ever do. I've been sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I am tired of it!
This world will try to kick your butt and shove you around, and push you down until you never want to get back up. I know how that feels too. Not the way you do, but I know it.
You know what else I know though? I know the following;
"It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something... There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."
-Sam, Lord of the Rings
I know that deep in my soul, my friends. Today may be a damned dark and horrid day, but that doesn't change who you are for even a minute. You are a Child of God with a capital C because you are important. The battles you fight are real wherever they may be, and I sure as heaven and hell know of the truthfulness of that.
Don't you dare give up. You owe it to your parents, friends, children, spouse, to the angels in heaven, to those you love that have passed on, and in general to every single person that ever fought for your freedom to make it.
There have been too many lives lost, too many chances untaken, for you to give up where you are right now. I love you. I know how hard it is. I'm fighting too. Every day I fight to love myself, and to love my neighbor. I fight to live a happy life that is full of meaning. I fight for the right, for the good, for the beauty, for the joy of life, and I'll fight for yours.
I never give up. I never will.
Neither should you.
Believe.
Live.
Love.
Have joy.
I love you.
-Doug Knuth
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